2020, gives a lot of surprises. really. at this point, i don't have any idea what my life is going to be at the end of this year. or next year. or even right now? the coming of 2020 actually scares me. i feel like this year pressuring me silently. this year, it expecting something big from me. but who have ever thought that i actually, the one who expect a lot from whatever coming in 2020. cut it short. right at this moment. 8th april, i am in my bedroom in my hometown. typing in this blog post column after months. while i suppose to be at my college, doing my assignments, cry over the unfinished tasks, stress over my life in palam, but no. i am in my bedroom. in perlis. sigh. the country is having real big health, economic issue right now. almost all the country in this world are facing with pandemic issue. the virus is getting huge and serious. attacking people's lives and lead to so many death cases. even in this country. my university students were ordered to empty the college buildings as soon as possible on the 17th march. and i was rushing back from uni. luckily i got a friend who was driving back to perlis also and he gave me a lift. a friend from the theater club. so i arrived home when the clock almost ticking to 1 am. and since then, i just stay at home doing things like usual things i did when i was during semester break. the different part is just i cannot go out meeting my friend here. i cannot say i'm bored staying at home knowing that all the front liners are struggling real hard to stop the virus from keep spreading. so as a normal citizen, i am doing my part just by staying at home. so i can't say my job is hard compare to them, right? the restriction movement order was ordered until this 14th april. but idk, it feels like the government will extend the date of the rmo, looking back at the situation right now.
i can still remember when the media announce regarding the issue when it's happening in China. i was with my college friends talking about this issue and we were saying like wow look at them, look at the country, it looks like a zombie country. no people seen walking around the streets. the virus are spreading like damn crazy. nothing is fun living in paranoid. though you didn't get infected, but each day coming, you dont feel safe. you cant feel safe till it's gone. until the virus is totally gone. it's only me in this house, with both of my parents. my siblings still there in selangor and south area. they cant get here. and i am glad knowing that they're working from home now. i was so worried when mom told me that week ago, my second brother was still went to his office. i mean ya i know they're all big guy now and of course wiser than me, but me just being me. i am afraid if something or anything bad happen to my family members. i love them. so much. i cant imagine my life without any of them. though i look like i dont care much about them. but no. though i am the useless one in this family.
anyway, i am missing my friends so much. my college friends. my friends here in perlis. though some of my close friends are back in here, we cannot meet each other. i miss us so much. though they didnt. but i still do. though i'm good at shut them out. pushing people away. ignoring them. but, nothing can be measured my love towards each of them.
as per record, i am in the third semester of my degree. and i really dont know whats gonna happen to my grade this sem. looking at the current situation that we're having. i can't tell if i will pass this semester with good pointers or not. i really hope the pandemic situation wont be the reason of my studies performance. and i really hope this will end soon. like real soon. cant imagine this ramadhan without my friends, and there would be no bazaar, no tarawih. things are just going to be so different. hoping and praying for the goods. if He wills, it wills be.
