more than a week of eid have passed. this year, this aidilfitri is the worst i can tell. i avoid at my very best to communicate with the uncles and aunts because for sure they going to ask question like "what r u doing now?" "have u finish with your studies?" "do you get a job already?" "what is your plan now after finish doing diploma?" hell yeah. it is not like i want to be rude but, aunts, we can start a conversation by not asking about me right because to be fucking honest with you all, i dont know how should i answer all the questions! because my plan, my life plan, will not go as what i want it to go. they are always boundaries and obstacles in my life. and i hate it.
i want to get out from here. meet new people. get to know new things. be in a new surrounding. learn other culture. i dont want to be in the same place for the rest of my life. i need to challenge myself. i need to know what i am capable to do. can they let me do this?
woke up every morning and feel so damn useless. i hate depending myself too much on people. i need to motivate myself but shit, i always procrastinate everything. get a lifeeeee please get a life. dont be such a lazy ass.