in the name of Allah, the most Gracious the most Merciful. here i am back here writing this self-love reflection letter in this blog after so long. well, there is not much differences since the last time i was around here. to give myself a little preview of the last episode, so somewhere in march, we need to rush back to our hometown, clear out our college's room and take the essential stuff with us before we came back for the actual clearance. because of this pandemic things that going around the whole world, i need to undergo my third semester virtually. which is kind of fucked up but i wont say it was totally doomed. there are the pros and cons of it. and alhamdulillah my final result of the third semester came out well, better than the previous one. though it was kind of stressful and intense in different way. God knows what i have been through. the tight feeling for every online class especially for some of my core subjects. it is 1:58am and i am writing this entry in my bedroom. i made some changes in here, a little rearrangement of my closet, bed and my desk. my favorite spot of the bedroom is always the desk area. the study table to be exact. since i have been facing online classes so i really need to make sure the desk is comfort and nice enough for me to sit all day long. well, actually it is not only during the class though. i really be sitting at my study area every single day for almost 24 hours. i even had my breakfast/lunch/dins at my desk. and i rarely watch television because i am more to netflix these day. so yeah, my desk is my life, my laptop is my life. ok i hope it does not sounds so pathetic. i just enjoy myself being indoor instead of facing people. but i am always looking forward to see my close friends and hanging out with them sometime. so, sunday is coming. and my new semester which is semester 4 is just the next monday. lets just be honest, i am actually a little bit nervous about this. i don't know. the subjects it getting tough i guess. the assessment and everything might be. but it is okay. i think i will just gonna believe in myself. that's the best thing to do now. i really wanna write more and tell/keep here what i have been doing for the past few months. though it is not that much but i just wanna keep writing (lies i tell myself every single day). there are some series/tv shows/movies that i watched on netflix that i wanna talk about later. and last month or last two months i am not sure, i bought new books. they are some sort of self improvement type of books i got from bookxcess, online because duh there is no nice bookshops here in my place, but yeah i haven't finish them yet. stuck in my procrastination room. luckily i keep myself update with the journal. it keeps me alive. it is funny how i think that i dont really got time to do things i wanna do, not realizing that i keep saying "i will do it later/tomorrow" but what happens when i cannot get into later or that tomorrow. well nothing really happens, nothing change because my life will end there. it is a stop, not changing. that's the thing i have been struggling with, my procrastination disease. since forever. there's always times that some ideas or thoughts coming into my head randomly which i need to let it out through my words here other than in my journal. but the thing with "later/tomorrow" really get me. anyway, just wanna keep this here, i am writing this while listening to the french aesthetic songs playlist on youtube. i really do not understand a single thing but it feels nice. i'm thinking of re-watching the french movie laboum, which i think the one and only french movie i have ever watch. i love the songs in the movie. that kind of vibe though. so, i might end this entry here. tomorrow is my last day of my semester break which means last day of my freedom. might tied up with all the busy schedule later. till then.
No comments:
Post a Comment